10 Reasons Why The Marriage Ended
I promised a new friend of mine at least 5 reasons why my marriage ended.I’m trying consciously not to make all my blogs about the subject of marriage/separation/divorce, but it is a big part of who I am and what I am plowing through right now.Of course the old saying is “there are 3 sides to every story, His side, Her side, and The Truth” so keeping in mind this is my side of the story and that I try and keep promises
Why The Marriage Ended
- I was the one always giving, never receiving much in return
- The relationship well before the marriage was built on some lies and deception, mostly my doing, that you can’t erase and I’m long since tired of lies/secrets
- We grew apart in different directions at different speeds
- The intimacy / sex life was vanilla, and close to none existant. She was plain Jane and I am always looking for new ways to be creative to turn up the ‘heat meter’.
- She never could just say ’sorry’ or ‘I apologize’. I know I fucked up a lot more, but I never has any trouble admitting to any mistakes to her and apologizing.
- She doesn’t do anything. She is a great mother to the boys, but she and thus us have no social life, no private life, and I basically had to force her to find a hobby, make plans with a friend etc.
- I’m tired of her lack of support. She is dependant on me but I don’t ever get to be dependant on her.
- I discovered my true self over the past couple of years, and who I really am, isn’t in line with being married with kids full-time, living in a big house in suburbia.
- I am selfish about my need for some down time, alone time, I need a good balance of work, play, parent, isolate.
- I have my self-esteem back and I’ve learned that anyone can have anything they want with the right drive, attitude, persistance, positive energy. I no longer just settle for much.
Thanks for your ears,
May 14, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Gee, I’m sorry that your marriage ended. It is way too common now days. I am possibly only slightly different than you are, but the female version. I am new at this blogging thing. But it seems to be a great way to vent some of my frustrations that I am facing in my marriage. I do not want to divorce my husband, I just want him to change a little bit. and if he doesn’t how much will I have to? I’ll try to keep up with your experiences, and if interested, you can visit my weblog at http://www.carlal.wordpress.com
May 23, 2008 at 12:03 pm
i see i see… hmm… i get it all, but your number 8 is kind of a knee-jerk? i mean i know they are YOUR reasons, but ermm, you can’t erase kids. you know? I mean, surely i wish i were living the glamorous single life, but i can’t… just remember to cherish those boys.
(oopsies, hope i didn’t sound like a soap boxer… well, if i did, it’s understandable that this is all a delicate subject.)
Good luck! I hope you’re having a good day.
June 17, 2008 at 11:20 pm
Did you ever get counseling? Did you ever say all of this to her? Obviously, I don’t know you or the whole story, but the general tone is that you want to be single. That’s fine, if that’s what you want, but b/c you had children with this woman, she will always be in your life. You need to find a way to let go of the anger, for everyone’s sake. I wish you luck.